Leave us Texters Alone!

Aug 17

Oh you over-controlling governmental type,
IMG_7111Paranoid of my driving or riding my bike,
I eat in my car – play the radio too,
Don’t tell me what else I can or can’t do.
 
I drink if I want – I talk on my phone,
I can text if I’m careful – just leave me alone,
If I text while I drive – I don’t care what you said,
Cause the chances are good – that I’ll simply be dead!

 

Copyright 2013 Steve Dahl

I got the idea for that little ditty after watching Werner Herzog’s video on CNN about texting and driving. The above is actually a comment I left on the site after seeing a bunch of idiots defend texting and driving. If you really don’t think texting and driving is dangerous, watch this…

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Twas The Night Before Recall

Aug 07

Twas the night before recall and all through the house,
Bob Filner was looking to find him a blouse.
A blouse or a skirt or a pair of high heels,
To see if his therapy, changed how he feels.
 
Santa Bob Recall 2pngEmployees were nestled all snug in their chairs,
While Gloria Allred reviewed their affairs.
The recall had started and soon it would grow,
And Gloria Allred was loving this show.
 
This show made for movies,
We couldn’t conceive,
A plot so disgusting,
We couldn’t believe.
 
But soon the effects of many a female,
Empowered the voters to respond to the detail.
The details of groping and all kinds of smut,
But maybe this therapy would save Bobby’s butt!
 
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a haloed Bob Filner with a message so clear!
There hovered a halo – right over his head!
It was white and was glowing – you heard what I said!
 
It’s a halo! It’s a halo!
He’s not so deranged!
This therapy works!
And Bob said, “I’ve changed!”
 
“I’ve changed my behavior. I’m much better now!
I’m sorry I groped you! You can’t believe how.
The Bob Filner Recall is on the go.
Just Give me a Chance!
Will you ever forgive me? – Please give me a pass!
Therapy has worked and I won’t grab your…
 
ASSSSK me if – you doubt me! Just give me a chance!
I’m a brand new man, don’t want in your pants!
You can all wear your undies to the office once more.
I am no longer groping behind my closed door!”
 
So let’s spring to the polls and ignore the cat whistles,
Away the recall, blow it off like old missiles,
Then I heard Bob exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
“I’m a new man for all”
 
And we all say… Yaaaaaaaaa right!

 

Copyright 2013 Steve Dahl

 

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Oh I Wish I Were a New York City Mayor!

Aug 05

Sing to the tune of – Oh I Wish I Were an Oscar Meyer Weiner
 
Oh I want to be a New York City Mayor,Anthony Wiener for Mayor
That is what I truly want to be,
But since I’ve been a Tweeting Tony Wiener,
Everyone has seen enough of me.
 
But if you vote for New York City’s Wiener,
I will send you Tweets you haven’t seen.
And once you make me New York City Mayor,
Everyone is moving to D.C!

 

Copyright 2013 Steve Dahl

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Oh The Places You Will Go, Bob!

Aug 01

Oh the places you will go Bob,
Today is your day!
Bob Filner illustrationYour behavioral therapy,
will take you away!
 
Two weeks of sessions,
Just do what you can,
And come back to lead us Bob,
A much better man!
 
You’ll miss women in your office Bob,
For groping at ease,
You’ll miss doing what you want Bob,
and saying what you please,
 
You own this whole town Bob, in a headlock we are,
But your roman hands Bob, went a little too far!
 
As you groped in the hallway Bob, and in between floors,
You stepped over the line Bob, behind mayor’s doors.
While the recalls are counting Bob, let the therapy begin,
San Diego loses Bob, but comedians sure win.
 
Your “hugging’s” appalling Bob, but it’s what makes you tick,
Your groping’s disgusting Bob, and it’s making us sick,
 Hope therapy helps you Bob, but chances are slim,
That your habits will change much, oh your future’s quite dim.
 
Oh the things that you’ve done Bob, have caused us distress,
We’ve a city to run Bob, and you’ve left us a mess,
Oh the places you’ll go Bob, we just want you to know,
We don’t care where you go Bob, we just want you to go!
 
Copyright 2013 Steve Dahl

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