Why Fake it ‘Till You Make it?

Jun 28

Contrary to your high integrity self,
Faking it may be a skill,Football_Player-_Ashleigh_Hopkin_Wikipedia
To not leave on the shelf.
Coincidentally, this fact is barely known,
The faking skills, you’re using,
Should not be done alone.
Realistically, you must practice them with zeal,
But not behind closed doors,
You must practice them for real.
Intentionally, you’re faking doubt,
Faking can be curative,
Yes, faking helps you out!
Experimentally, just fake it for a while,
Just fake it once, fake it twice,
‘Till fake becomes your style!
Understandably – when faking things so far,
It’s not at all surprising,
The fake is who you are.
And finally, how faking should be done,
Is… fake it ‘till you make it,
And see what you’ve become!

Studies show that “acting as if…” is not exactly being phony. “Faking it” can be a skill to get you where you want to be. That doesn’t mean you have to  lie or act in inauthentic ways, it simply means you act with the confidence of a world-class athlete. They ALL believe they are number one. EVERY ONE of them believes they are going to win the competition!

So, what do you believe? How is your belief system shaping who you will become?


Image Courtesy Wikipedia.com.

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Angel of Words – A Tribute to Maya Angelou

May 31

Angelic words,Maya Angelou Wikipedia 1
With points of view,
She set us free,
With words so few.
Compassion grew,
From endless prose,
She spoke of pain,
The kind she knows.
The words she chose,
Could force a tear,
Or coax a smile,
Or banish fear.
She wrote of birds,
That cages keep,Maya Angelou Wikipedia 2
Whose freedom came,
And made us weep.
She wrote of healing,
Racist ways,
Her pen dug deep,
Through song and plays.
Her meaning shows,
Between her lines,
Poetic words,
That God defines.
Her words will live,
Where Maya spoke,
Within our soul,
Her words evoke.Maya Angela Wikipedia 3
We feel her spirit,
Poetic clear,
Forever scribed,
In hearts still here.
Steve Dahl Copyright 2014
With Maya Angelou’s passing we lose a creative voice for all humanity. Who will fill the void? Who will speak for those less capable than you? What is your creative contribution to the world? What is your contribution to the world? 
Images courtesy of Wikipedia.
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This is NOT What I Ordered!

May 25

This is not what I ordered,
Please send my life back!
Erica is the first female paraplegic to climb to over 19,000 feet on Mt Kilimanjaro.

Erica is the first female paraplegic to climb to over 19,000 feet on Mt Kilimanjaro.

There’s been a mistake!
And my life is off track!
This is not what I ordered,
I have plans to unfold,
I see climbing and biking,
And competing for gold!
But life changed in an instant,
When my legs wouldn’t go,
My heart screamed “Get going!”
But my body said “No!”

An inspirational and educational leader, Erica speaks to audiences of all ages and shares her powerful insights while inspiring us all to CLIMB!

An inspirational and educational leader, Erica speaks to audiences of all ages and shares her powerful insights while inspiring us all to CLIMB!

This is not what I ordered!
This is not what I planned,
But this IS what I’m given,
I’ve been dealt a new hand.
But there’s no time for sorrow,
For the life I’ve been handed,
Now my Spirit says “Go!”
Begin where you’ve landed.
There are mountains to climb,
There are races to win,
I can still reach my goals,
As I reach deep within.
World class triathlete, Erica Davis, competes as part of the Challenged Athletes Foundation and Team USA.

World class triathlete, Erica Davis, competes as part of the Challenged Athletes Foundation and Team USA.

You can climb any mountain,
When your vision gets clear,
You can win any race,
When you let go of fear.
This is not what I ordered,
So I choose a new track,
I am living my dream,
And I’m not looking back!

After hearing about competitive athlete, Erica Davis, I went to her website. Here is a woman who lost all feeling from the chest down in the midst of launching her health and fitness career. This amazing athlete did not lose a beat just because of a little paralysis. Nope. She went out a climbed a frickin’ mountain!

Now, I’ve been known to complain a bit about my own aches and pains or the challenges in my life but after reading this woman’s website and hearing more about her story, I am inspired. I am inspired to ignore the trivial and focus on the dreams. I am inspired to forget the fears and get going with my life. I encourage you to take a look at your life’s challenges, then look at Erica’s. You too will be inspired.

Check out the story of Erica Davis – global athlete, advocate, and adventurer at: www.GoWithErica.com. Images courtesy of gowitherica.com.


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Let Ending Begin

May 23

That end-of-life chatter,Door to End of Life
We’d like to ignore,
Is never that easy,
As we head toward that door.
That door we all open,
While treatment transpires,
When medicine fails,
And breathing expires.
But we wait and we wonder,
When do we say,
Time is up – it’s now over,
And hope fades away?
Our hope is not wasted,
As we struggle for words,
But this talking ‘bout death,
Is still for the birds!
We fear talking, fear dying,
We fear one final breath,
Too much hesitation,
On this topic called death.
But discussion gives courage,
Let us say what we must,
Through discomfort and pain,
We simply must trust.
We must trust our intentions,
And seek strength from above,
This end-of-life chatter,
Is a topic of love.
For if love is your message,
Then fear cannot win,
Trust yourself and start talking,
And let ending – begin.



The Mayonnaise Metaphor and a Free eBook

Yes, we all have this in common, blah, blah, blah. We’re all going to die, yadda, yadda, yadda. I work in palliative care so the topic of pain and end-of-life-suffering is a common topic of discussion in my line of work. Yet, most Americans would prefer to avoid discussing the joyful topic of expiration. Wow, I can’t even say it myself. Maybe that’s it! Maybe we just look at ourselves as a jar of mayonnaise!

Then we don’t need to use the D word! “Hey honey, I won’t be good for two weeks after my expiration date so maybe we should put those Advance Directives together!” (You can get a free eBook I put together with Advance Directive checklists and guidelines  at http://www.csupalliativecare.org/eBookCaregivers.html .

My wife often opens that jar of mayonnaise a few days after the expiration date and will ask me to give it the sniff test to see if I think it’s still good. So, while you’re still “good” have a chat with someone you love about your expiration date.

Discussing death before it’s pounding on your front door is a lot better than dealing with it during crunch time. We’ve all got that expiration date on the back of the bottle so I encourage you to spend some time with loved ones chatting about what you want towards the end. Who is going to be making decisions if you can’t? Who will manage your affairs? What is your password for Facebook? And important stuff like that.

I know what you’re thinking. “Really, Steve – a mayonnaise metaphor?”

What say you?

© Copyright Steve Dahl 2013

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View From the Cheap Seats

Apr 24

Image Courtesy Wikipedia.com.

Image Courtesy Wikipedia.com.

In the very top row,
Way up high in the back,
The cheap seats are safer,
At a price I can hack.
And I yell at the players,
I scream for my team,
And I counsel the ref,
If you know what I mean.
I am safe way up here,
I can’t get a bruise,
I won’t miss a ball,
And I can’t ever lose.
But I criticize well,
All the guys on the field,
I’m so far from the game,
That it must be revealed…
It scares me to death,
How they fight for their team,
While my cheap seat is safe,
They are living their dream.

Brene Brown in her studies on shame reminds us that “It is not the critic who counts.” It’s easy to criticize the players from the cheap seats. How long will you play it safe? The real credit goes to those who enter the arena and dare to compete, whether or not they are fully prepared.

Are you happy to be sitting on the sidelines of life while others are out living their dream? Criticism is not exactly a strategy. Why not jump in and contribute to the team? You may win. You may lose. But at least you dare to jump in.

Affirmation for the day: “I am over my shame and jump into the game.”

Get in the game!


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Don’t Give Him Too Many Chores!

Apr 23

I’m not really lazy,
So why should I try,Boy Doing Chores
My mother will do it,
If I just fuss and I cry.
My parents are the greatest,
And this I can tell,
They do all of my chores,
And I know they mean well.
But the chores that I’m missing,
Teach skills I could use,
When I’m off on my own,
I’ll have much more to lose.
I won’t try solving problems,
With wisdom and grace,
And I’ll likely leave stockings,
All over the place!
And I’ll have to find someone,
To get me to work,
Woman thinkingAnd I’ll often be late,
Boy my boss is a jerk!
And I’ll ruin my credit,
Cause my bills won’t get paid,
And dishes won’t be done,
‘Till I find me a maid.
I won’t know how to manage,
My time or my life,
Hey, I’ve got an idea…

I’ll get me a wife!

Yeah! I’ll find me a woman,
Where my mother once stood,
And I’ll have her do chores,
Like a good woman should!

I will get me a woman,
Who loves doing chores,
And she’ll make us some babies,

Glamour portrait in blue sunglassesWhen she’s not washing floors! 

That’s my future sweet parents,
So thanks Mom and Dad,
There’s no chores in my future,
But you shouldn’t feel bad.
You have let me off easy,
From that chore list of life,
But – could you make me a copy,
I can give to my wife?


Ohhhhh baby! Now this is no doubt going to irritate a few! But, hey, that’s my job on my blog so go tell a hog. Okay, all seriousness aside. The huge issue we have in America, just one of them anyway, is called “Overindulgence.” It’s when we simply allow too much, buy too much and do too much for our children. The reality is, as a parent you only have one primary job in addition to keeping your kids safe. And that is, being their teacher. But not like the classroom, not by home schooling, none of that.

Dr. Jean Illsley Clarke, author of "How Much is Too Much."

Dr. Jean Illsley Clarke, author of “How Much is Too Much.”

Everything we do as parents should be to help our children learn something. So, that’s why we let them learn to do their own laundry. That’s why we let them learn to cook. That’s why we let them learn what happens when they ignore your advice and get burned, scraped, bruised and humbled once in a while. That’s why we DO let our kids have a cell phone and a credit card. And that’s why when they overspend or abuse that parent-given privilege they do LOSE that phone or credit card until they learn to use them responsibly.  That’s called learning. And yes, it’s uncomfortable.

The most successful adults are usually the ones who learned something about personal responsibility while growing up. And that means, letting kids learn to do chores when they’re young so they don’t make someone else miserable trying to avoid them later in life! That’s why we want kids to learn how credit cards work because that’s how our world works.

If you want to learn more about the issues of “Overindulgence,” I highly recommend you take a course from Dr. Jean Illsley Clarke, parent educator. Also, buy her latest book called, “How Much is Too Much?” Eileen and I have been through Jean’s trainings and we’re certified to teach her programs so I know that of which I speak! Or rhyme. Or both. We’re not perfect parents but I think our adult kids will tell you that we didn’t often overindulge them and they learned a lot. Sometimes, the hard way, but usually a memorable and an effective way.

I don’t mean to sound like a hard ass but I am trying to make a big point in a little space. Overindulgence is not just a problem for families while their kids are growing up, overindulgence is a big problem for those young adults and it can continue for the rest of their lives. So, give your kids some chores.

Check out Jean’s website at http://www.overindulgence.info/index.html.

Steve Dahl

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